


Sirius and Remus See Each Other in the Mirror of Erised

by simplysirius



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Feels, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, M/M, One Shot, Pining, Relationship(s), Remus x Sirius, sirius x remus, wolfstar, wolfstar angst, wolfstar fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:28:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29641635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplysirius/pseuds/simplysirius
Summary: When Sirius and Remus’ deepest desires change in fifth year and their reflections in the Mirror of Erised reveal new intentions, the boys handle it in the only way they know how: by panicking and running to James and Lily.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 98





	Sirius and Remus See Each Other in the Mirror of Erised

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr @simplysirius for daily fics and fan art! I also take requests :)

The boys found it during their third year, late one night while they were sneaking around the castle underneath the Invisibility Cloak.

The Mirror of Erised was shoved in the back corner of an abandoned classroom, deep within the labyrinth of hallways, the tall windows bathing it in bright blue moonlight. It looked like an ordinary piece of glass at first, dusty and smudged, but as Sirius, Remus, and James approached, the reflection shifted.

Sirius saw himself holding his younger brother, Regulus’ arm hanging around his waist, smiling so wide the apples of his cheeks touched his eyes. Remus’ reflection showed himself running through a field catching fireflies, the full moon shining bright and innocent overhead. James, of course, was captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, hoisting the trophy high above his head.

They revisited the mirror every so often, staring wistfully at their dreams, taking comfort in the dancing images.

But in fifth year, everything changed when Sirius and Remus no longer saw Regulus or harmless full moons, but each other, holding hands.

The discovery came on a night where Remus was supposed to be on his final prefect rounds, but instead, he snuck off with Sirius as they ran through the hallways, crashing into walls and stifling their laughter so as not to get caught by Peeves. They hadn’t meant to find the Mirror of Erised – someone had moved it halfway through their fourth year – but the first classroom they stumbled into held more than just a few rusted desks and broken chairs.

“Holy shit!” Sirius gasped, rushing from beneath the Cloak to inspect the mirror. “We found it again!”

“Are you sure that’s it?” Remus asked, folding the Cloak over his arm. It looked the same, sure, with its intricately carved wood and smooth glass, but even from across the room with his eyes squinted, the reflection was fuzzy at best.

“Of course it is,” Sirius insisted, tugging off his jumper to use as a dust rag. Remus pretended not to notice the strip of bare skin along Sirius’ back as his undershirt rose up and his sweatpants hung low on his hips.

When all the dust was cleared off, Sirius stood back to admire the reflection, but the smile immediately fell from his face as he inhaled sharply.

“What?” Remus probed, squinting his eyes as Sirius’ entire body froze, the whites of his eyes blown wide in the dark room. “You look like you’re going to pass out, Sirius.”

“I think…it’s broken,” he finally choked. Sirius wiped the glass again, trying to rearrange the reflection, but when he stepped back, it was all the same. “Something’s not right.”

Remus pushed Sirius over to stand in front of the glass and felt the color drain from his face. He wasn’t looking at himself frolicking through a field underneath a beautiful full moon. He was staring at himself standing next to Sirius, their fingers laced tightly together, cheeks flushed a rosy pink.

That was fine, maybe; friends hold hands all the time, right? But then the boys in the reflection pressed their foreheads together, held their bodies close, and did the one thing that friends definitely didn’t do.

“Yeah,” Remus whispered, stumbling away from the mirror. “Someone must have hexed it or something.”

Sirius nodded, staring at the floor with his arms crossed on his chest, fingers digging into the soft flesh of his biceps. “Let’s go back. I’m tired.”

“Me too,” Remus agreed too quickly. He draped the Cloak around their bodies and together, they creeped back up to their bedroom, all too aware of their shoulders bumping, their hands brushing, their cheeks blossoming bright carmine.

Sirius wasn’t lying; he was tired, but he lay in bed the whole night, staring at the ceiling, tossing and turning and smothering his head with his pillow, trying to drown out the erratic echo of his heartbeat in his ears.

In the bed beside him, Remus wasn’t doing much better, squeezing his eyes closed and willing his brain to shut off, trying to bore himself to sleep by counting sheep. After sheep number two thousand three hundred twenty seven, he gave up.

In the morning, Sirius was the first one out of bed, leaping to his feet as soon as the first tendrils of light streamed through the windows. He showered and brushed his teeth and redid his hair fifteen times, desperate to keep his quivering fingers moving, trying to stay busy to convince his brain to stop thinking about holding Remus’ hand. Kissing him. Loving him.

Not long after Sirius rolled out of bed did Remus do the same, quieter than usual as he made his bed and fastened his prefect pin on his robes.

“I’m gonna go to breakfast a little early,” he announced as James struggled to find a clean pair of pants within his pile of clothes on the floor. “I want to study a little more before the potions exam.”

“It’s not for another week, Moony,” James said, but Sirius curtly nodded, his eyes flickering up to meet Remus’ for only a moment before he decided he needed to fix his hair for the sixteenth time.

As soon as the door closed behind Remus, Sirius bounded across the room and pulled James to his bed by his shoulders.

“What the hell-?”

“I need help. Something’s wrong. Like, really, really, really fucked up and I don’t know what to do–”

“Is this a life or death decision that can’t wait until I’ve had coffee?” James groans, righting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. “I’m only, like, twenty percent functioning right now and–”

“I think I’m in love with Remus.”

“Oh fuck.”

Sirius paced the room, propping his hands on his hips, then his head, then his mouth, mumbling the words that exploded from his lips. “We found that stupid mirror again, you know the one that shows you what you really want, right? And I thought I was gonna see Reg again but the reflection changed, like I was looking back at me and Remus and we were holding hands and smiling and then…”

James held his breath, raising a careful eyebrow. “And then?”

Sirius covered his face. “We kissed.”

The words settled around the room as James sighed, rubbing his lips together. Sirius could only shake his head, the blood rushing to his ears and down his neck, trying to ignore the hot sting in the corners of his eyes.

“Is it possible that the mirror is just wrong?” James asked quietly, already knowing full well that there was no hiding the mirror, no tricking it into distorting the image.

Sirius managed a meager shrug, finally falling on the bed next to James, his knees no longer able to hold the weight of such a heavy heart. “That’s the problem. I don’t think it’s wrong.”

“Maybe it’s not a problem then.”

“How is it not a problem?” Sirius snapped.

“Loving Remus isn’t a crime. You can love whoever you want to love, and no one is going to tell you different. I mean…I see the way you look at him, Sirius. And the way he looks at you. I never wanted to assume anything but…if that’s what the mirror showed you, maybe you shouldn’t ignore it.”

Sirius shook his head, wishing it was that simple. “He’s my best friend.”

James hummed in agreement, nonplussed. “And he’ll still be your best friend. You’ll just be best friends that kiss and do other things when I’m out of the room and am in no way, shape, or form coming back soon.”

They shared a small grin as James bumped Sirius’ shoulder.

“Really, Pads. I don’t care if you’re gay or straight or something in the middle or if you don’t even know yet. If loving Remus is gonna make you happy, then I’m all for it. But I don’t want to third wheel all the time, so you’re gonna have to get Lily to fall in love with me pronto.”

Sirius laughed and finally nodded. “Okay. You’re gonna have to help me tell him.”

If James and Sirius noticed that Remus left his potions book on his trunk, they didn’t say anything as Remus rushed out of the room, nearly tripping down the stairs as he ran toward the Great Hall. Anywhere to get away from Sirius and clear his head.

Tea would help. Tea always helped. Remus was the first one to breakfast that morning, and he took a seat at Gryffindor’s table nearest the steaming kettle. He drank have the cup in one sip, not caring that his tongue burned or his throat was on fire; he needed a distraction, and if searing his taste buds did the trick, then so be it.

“Are you trying to break a tea drinking record or something?”

Remus glanced over the rim of the cup to find Lily smirking at him, arms folded on her chest, her hair still a bit disheveled from the night. She sat beside him, reaching for the kettle and pouring her own cup.

“I just need to wake up,” Remus mumbled. “It feels like I’m still dreaming.”

Lily arched an eyebrow. “Good dream or bad dream?”

That was the question, Remus supposed. Every time he thought he figured out the answer, his stomach violently churned and he felt sick all over again, his chest aching with a pressure he had never felt before. Lily would know what to do. She had to. “Have you ever liked somebody before?”

She pouted her lips, narrowing her eyes. “Did James put you up to something? Because for the last time–”

“No,” Remus said quickly, grabbing her wrist before she could stand up. Lily settled back onto the bench. “I just…I need to know…for personal reasons.”

It took Lily no time at all to translate and she gasped, slapping Remus’ shoulder. “Remus Lupin, do you have a crush?”

Remus winced, hissing at her to be quiet. He didn’t need to answer; the furious flush spread over his cheeks was all the confirmation Lily needed. She scooted closer to him, keeping her voice to a low whisper.

“Tell me everything.”

“I can’t,” Remus murmured, holding his head in his hands. “It’s so confusing.”

Lily huffed. “Remus, we’re at the top of our class. I’m pretty sure we can figure it out together. What do you like about her?”

Swallowing hard, he whispered, “him.”

Lily smiled softly, nudging Remus’ hands away from his face. Her face was gentle, peaceful, no sign of disappointment or disdain anywhere in her green eyes. “Okay. What do you like about him?”

“He’s…funny. Kind, mostly. And he’s always looking out for me. Putting himself in danger just to help me.”

“Where’s the confusing parts? That sounds pretty good.”

“You know him.”

“Sirius,” Lily answered immediately, holding Remus’ hand in hers. “I guess that’s where it gets complicated, huh?”

Remus nodded silently, staring at his cup of tea. “I don’t even know how it happened I mean…I don’t know when or why but I can’t stop thinking about it and I didn’t sleep last night and I can’t tell him because that will just ruin everything and there’s no way I can lose him, but if I don’t tell him I think I’m going to die and if he laughs in my face I’m definitely going to die but there’s no way he feels the same way because this is so ridiculous, like he’s my best friend and now I just had to go fuck it up and–”

“Remus,” Lily said firmly, grasping his arm. “Breathe.”

“I can’t,” Remus choked, only now too aware of his heart hammering against his chest, of his lungs devoid of oxygen, of his inability to draw in air despite gasping and wheezing.

Lily carefully pulled Remus to his feet, escorting him out the Great Hall and into the courtyard, where the crisp spring air stung his skin and cooled his boiling blood. “In and out, Remus. Breathe.”

Focusing on the sound of her voice, Remus did as she said, taking a deep breath in, and then out, repeating until the black spots in his vision swam away.

“What am I going to do?”

“I think you have to tell him,” Lily admitted quietly, holding his hand. “It’s going to eat you alive if you don’t.”

Remus nodded, but his body was still taut with fear. “What if other people find out?”

Lily shrugged. “So what? It’s none of their business. And if they say anything, I’ll hex their tongues off.”

From the determined gleam in her eye, Remus knew she wasn’t kidding. He pulled her into a tight embrace, burying his face in her hair.

“You deserve to be happy, Remus,” she insisted. “Let yourself be happy for once.”

The rest of breakfast was a torrid affair, with Sirius and Remus sitting next to each other, awkwardly apologizing when they reached for the same scone or when their elbows brushed while cutting into their eggs. They made it twenty minutes into their first class before Sirius’ body was vibrating like a live wire and his hand shot into the air.

“Professor, I’m not feeling so great. Would it be possibly to go see Madame Pomfrey?” He croaked, his voice slurred and rough around the edges. Sirius held onto his stomach for good measure and the professor pointed towards the door.

“Go ahead,” she allowed.

Sirius stood from his stool, almost too quickly, and tugged Remus behind him. “I’ll take Remus just in case I pass out on the way.”

Before the professor could respond, the door was already shut.

“That was a terrible excuse,” Remus mumbled, already dizzy as Sirius’ skin burned against his.

“Shut up,” Sirius chastised, pulling Remus down hallway after endless hallway, listening carefully for the sound of footsteps or voices that would send them straight to detention. Remus recognized where they were going almost instantaneously, but the lump in his throat prevented any words from slipping out of his mouth.

Sirius opened the last door on the left and sealed them inside, once again face to face with the Mirror of Erised.

He approached it cautiously, scared of what he might find. What if the reflection changed? Was it just a one time thing? Sirius sighed in relief as he blinked in the mirror, staring back at Remus and himself.

“What do you see when you look in the mirror?” Sirius asked quietly, eyes not leaving the glass.

Remus gulped. “The same thing I’ve always seen. Me under the full moon. Human.” His voice was strained, and he begged Sirius not to notice.

“Are you telling the truth?”

“No.” There was no point in lying. Remus padded over to the mirror, standing beside Sirius. “It changed last night.”

Sirius nodded. “Mine did, too.”

Remus couldn’t help how fast his head turned, nearly decapitating his skull from his spine. “It did?”

“Do you think,” Sirius whispered, hesitating. He pulled his shoulders back, bracing for the fall. “Do you think we’re seeing the same thing?”

“Yes,” Remus breathed, his body tingling as Sirius’ hand brushed his, their skin just ghosting at first, before finally melding as their fingers laced together. Remus could properly feel Sirius now, their pulses beating against the inside of their wrists. “Are you scared?”

“I’m terrified.”

“So am I.”

Sirius licked his lips. “Are you happy?”

“Yes.”

“Me too.”


End file.
